What I have learned thus far...

I recently contacted Bryan Thompson of the Utah County Clerk's office. I decided to call the county clerks office because they are the individuals in charge of processing applications for marriage licenses in Utah county. When I talked to Mr. Thompson, he informed me that Utah county does not have an official premarital counseling program, but they do offer a Utah Marriage Handbook. This handbook is supposed to be given to each couple that receives a marriage license (personal note: Having applied for a marriage license in the recent past, I know that this is not the case). Mr. Thompson was kind enough to send me a booklet in the mail. Although Mr. Thompson told me what he knew, it seems that our own Utah Healthy Marriage Initiatives are all but forgotten.

To be able to form more lasting change, I believe the answer is in providing engaged couples resources to ensure success. If this is simply putting Utah Marriage Handbooks on the county clerk's desk so couples can pick them up if they like, this would be enough! The problem is that programs are in place but they are not being utilized by our own government, which condemns them to failure before they have even begun.

Utah Healthy Marriage Initiative

Throughout my study of marriage and families at BYU, I have become passionate helping individuals create stronger marriages. I have learned that each state has something called a Healthy Marriage Initiative (HMI) which sounds fancy but it simply means what each state is doing to help its citizens have better, stronger marriages. There are a few states that are doing quite well with their HMI, but sadly Utah is not doing so hot. The resource (yes, resource. Singular as in just one) they provide is a website entitled strongermarriages.org. It offers many different resources on things such as finances, preparation for parenthood, general tips for improving your marriage and a listing of couple relationship education retreats in your area. I was quite impressed with all that this website is doing. But unfortunately, if I wasn't currently studying Family Life I would be unaware that such a website existed. In an attempt to remedy this, I emailed the coordinator over the Stronger Marriages website. I suggested to the coordinator, Melanie Reese, that small brochures or business cards be placed in strategic location so that engaged couples can be made aware of these resources. Strongermarriages.org isn't doing a bad job at publicizing their website, in fact they have recently come out with four TV spots that tell people about their website. But in this situation, I believe more is better. The more publicized their services become, the more likely that couples will turn to Utah's own HMI for help with their marriage.

P.S. If you think I've abandoned the political route, think again. I have also emailed a Utah County Commissioner and the County Clerk to see how Utah is implementing the HMI. I hope that by working with both strongermarriages.org and our own government officials we will be able to combine forces and create a stronger coalition to support healthy marriages.

Dear Legislator,

If you think I've abandoned my cause you are very mistaken. Over the past few days, I've been researching the Utah Code. I've found some interesting laws that are on the books, but to my knowledge, have not been enforced. Having recently been married myself, my husband and I were not informed of any premarital counseling services available nor were we given a handbook on creating a healthy marital relationship. Yet, we were supposed to be made aware of both these services upon obtaining our marriage license. Throughout my study of family life, I have come to believe that preventative education is much more helpful than therapy later (Isn't it better to build a fence at the top of a cliff, as opposed to placing an ambulance at the bottom?). It is for this reason that I find the lack of enforcing public policy most appalling. The laws are in place, why are we not enforcing them?

In search for the answer to my question, I've researching a variety of Utah laws, legislators and county clerks to find the reason why such information is not being given out. I am currently drafting a letter to my legislators to make them aware of my concerns. Hopefully this yields more fruitful results than prior attempts at understanding family public policy.